Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Why Nick should always lock his car....
When you are in white trash country and with white trash folks you should always lock your car. An open car is just "ask-n-fer-it".
At a recent WT event beer, BBQ, piles of empty soda can's, abandoned half eaten melting ice cream cones, miscellaneous foods, bags of garbage, port-a-potties, and small children were prevalent... and so were flies. Millions, and millions of flies like are normally present and hanging around our screen doors in late August in any Wyoming town.
The event was a lovely event - a BBQ cooking contest. It was a nice - very hot and humid - day. The day was spent taking good care of the cooking site, trying to keep it picked up and free of debris. Even going so far as placing bags of water with a penny floating inside to trick the flies into thinking that a great big spider was waiting for them - b u t - as the light turned to dark, the stress of the cooking contest waned, the flies could no longer see the "fake" spiders, and the beer fog become prevalent the site became overwhelmed with flies and drunks.
Some of the group had been up all night cooking, and when beer was added to the mix, passed out ... yup - BEFORE locking their cars. Those, of the group, still awake, of course, took the opportunity to take advantage of a HUGE circumstance. So it begins. All of the OPEN trash bags were loaded into the trunk of the passed out guys car and allowed to "gather" more (millions) of black shiny buzzing flies before closing the lid a few hours later.... (While the outside temp was still in the 80's. Perfect fly weather.) Then the remaining blue cheese, gooey sticky used aluminum foil covered with gook, bags of open beer and soda cans, BBQ chicken half eaten and dripping with sauce, were placed on the front and back seats of said same car. (Don't worry the seats were protected. These people may be jerks but they do have their rules for operating and messing up someones car seat is crossing some invisible White Trash code line. =) ) They then - yes, you guessed it - locked the car.
The next morning - and after this kind of tiring event - you don't rise early or easily from your passed out sleeping place until the sun comes up enough that it finally starts shining on your face making it so warm and miserable that you start to feel beads of sweat rolling down your face plus the drool out of the corner of your mouth and you realize that the flies have started hovering in your eyes, nose, ears and edges of your lips.
And... your fully awake. You set straight up. You look around. You blink your dry eyes because you forgot to take your contact lenses out last night. You remember when, where, why, and what happened that made you fall asleep on the ground. You are now up and moving around. There is no one else moving around yet as they all went to sleep in their pickups, cars and trailers or even went home. You see your car keys laying on the work table and think, "I must have left them there?". You go to get in your car and it's locked? OK - I don't remember that. You unlock the car door - not paying attention - you sit down. Wait a minute. What is that noise? What is that smell? What am I sitting on? What is all this stuff on the seat? When you are "swarmed" by a black cloud of flies trying to escape the open door.
Always lock your car or take a bike.
The event was a lovely event - a BBQ cooking contest. It was a nice - very hot and humid - day. The day was spent taking good care of the cooking site, trying to keep it picked up and free of debris. Even going so far as placing bags of water with a penny floating inside to trick the flies into thinking that a great big spider was waiting for them - b u t - as the light turned to dark, the stress of the cooking contest waned, the flies could no longer see the "fake" spiders, and the beer fog become prevalent the site became overwhelmed with flies and drunks.
Some of the group had been up all night cooking, and when beer was added to the mix, passed out ... yup - BEFORE locking their cars. Those, of the group, still awake, of course, took the opportunity to take advantage of a HUGE circumstance. So it begins. All of the OPEN trash bags were loaded into the trunk of the passed out guys car and allowed to "gather" more (millions) of black shiny buzzing flies before closing the lid a few hours later.... (While the outside temp was still in the 80's. Perfect fly weather.) Then the remaining blue cheese, gooey sticky used aluminum foil covered with gook, bags of open beer and soda cans, BBQ chicken half eaten and dripping with sauce, were placed on the front and back seats of said same car. (Don't worry the seats were protected. These people may be jerks but they do have their rules for operating and messing up someones car seat is crossing some invisible White Trash code line. =) ) They then - yes, you guessed it - locked the car.
The next morning - and after this kind of tiring event - you don't rise early or easily from your passed out sleeping place until the sun comes up enough that it finally starts shining on your face making it so warm and miserable that you start to feel beads of sweat rolling down your face plus the drool out of the corner of your mouth and you realize that the flies have started hovering in your eyes, nose, ears and edges of your lips.
And... your fully awake. You set straight up. You look around. You blink your dry eyes because you forgot to take your contact lenses out last night. You remember when, where, why, and what happened that made you fall asleep on the ground. You are now up and moving around. There is no one else moving around yet as they all went to sleep in their pickups, cars and trailers or even went home. You see your car keys laying on the work table and think, "I must have left them there?". You go to get in your car and it's locked? OK - I don't remember that. You unlock the car door - not paying attention - you sit down. Wait a minute. What is that noise? What is that smell? What am I sitting on? What is all this stuff on the seat? When you are "swarmed" by a black cloud of flies trying to escape the open door.
Always lock your car or take a bike.
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